I'm done speaking out for myself, I'm done speaking out against "violence against women." I want to speak out against sexual violence! Which doesn't discriminate based on gender, race, sexual orientation, age, socioeconomic status... I am just as guilty as the next person to say "1 in 4 women" ... but what about the 1 in 33 men? That alone should tell you that sexual violence hurts more than just who you "expect." We always say, this could happen to your sister, mother, daughter. Why not say, "this could happen to your friend" ? No matter WHO your friend is. It can happen.
It happened to my friend. And he was laughed at. He told me the details of his aggressive, frightening date rape (by a female)... this, my tall, strong, funny best guy friend was taken advantage of, and he told me that everyone he told afterward laughed at him. He wouldn't look sad but he said, "I understand when girls get raped and they just curl up in the shower... I didn't do that, but I understand why they do." It's the feeling of helplessness and hurt. I wanted to hold him when he said that. I wanted to hold him and never let him go. I want to take all the WRONG away. I want to cry for him--not for me anymore.. me, your "typical" female survivor-- I just want to put my arms around him and keep him close until he knows that I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I want to take the wrong away.
I hate the woman who did this to him and I want to beat sexual violence-- I want to BEAT sexual violence... until it stops beating us, until it stops affecting us, tearing us apart, until it stops hurting me, my friends, my school, my world.
This is a horrible battle against a crime that baffles and overwhelms us. We're on a battlefield covered in wounded people with no real enemy in sight. And the wounded people keep saying they're OK, saying they can get up and keep going, and the enemy keeps striking, again and again and again... without rhyme or reason.
I don't have a solution but I want this monster dead. Stop saying this enemy can only hurt your female friends-- this is bigger and worse than you could even imagine. It's perverted and it's after whoever it can get its hands on. Imagine. Everyone. Men. Women. Children.
So educate yourself. Research how you can help end violence, google statistics, take a class or train to work at a rape crisis center, speak to anyone who will speak to you about the violence that is happening in this world and try to be someone who is devoted to ending this, to uncovering that monster and to healing the wounded.