Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

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We are holding our spring Speak Out! on April 16th, 2018 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

I did not report... because I used to love him, because I still cared about him, because I told him to get that condom.

I did not report because I was wearing my shortest short skirt and my fuck-me heels, because being in bed and being cuddled by him felt like one of the safest places in the world. Because crashing at an old's friend and ex-boyfriend's seemed far safer than braving the two night buses and the street where the scary boy follows me home every so often.

I did not report because I am angry at me. He betrayed my trust, but I got me raped. Or assaulted. Or taken advantage of. Or whatever that grey area is between consent, non-consent and acquiescence. I was not there for me.

I could have left. I have a phone and one can find taxis even in Hackney. I could have moved to the sofa. I am a feminist, he thinks he's a feminist, I know that women tend to appease rather than fight.

Yet as the 7am light hit my groggy head, and we'd been drunk, then asleep and then we were awake again and the number of No's! was getting embarrassing, he raised his voice with me and I gave up. I gave in. I was not there.

This is why I do not report.

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