Despite the pain they’re filled with, so many of these posts are
beautifully written. I’ve always wanted to turn my hurts into something
hauntingly lovely in its fucked-up-edness, Lolita style, but my story
still feels ugly. Enough for now just to write it down.
For
three years, beginning when I was fifteen, I was in a verbally, and
occasionally physically, abusive relationship. We believed that we loved
each other and that we would get married, and it never occurred to me
that abuse happens even in high school, even in your first relationship,
even when you are practically still children. When I was with him I
felt dirty and empty and useless and scared, and I didn’t realize how
wrong it was until years later. That’s not really the problem anymore,
though; just how the problem arose.
The problem is that in
fictional portrayals, the abused girl realizes her strength and
immediately finds a man who respects her and loves her – when from what
I’ve seen, bad relationships are followed by self-loathing, sexual
recklessness, and shattered confidence. I know that I have not had it
nearly as hard as many of the people posting to this site. I know. But
too many times I’ve woken up the morning after and cried on my floor,
brushed my teeth, scrubbed my skin, and brushed my teeth again. Too many
times I’ve been too scared and confused to try to say no, or I’ve been
ignored when I do. Too many times I’ve been screaming in my head and not
known how to scream out loud.
My body is mine and I want it
back. You can’t touch it unless I want you to, and if I don’t want you
to, don’t try to convince me. I’m sick of not feeling like I can respect
myself and I’m sick of not feeling like others should respect me.
a permanent space to grieve, heal, and react to experiences of sexual and interpersonal violence
Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog
Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.
To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.
End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!
Thank you for Speaking Out! We would love to get your permission to share your testimonial. If you would like to allow your testimonial to be used at a later Speak Out!, please let us know by making a comment or a note in your testimonial.
To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.
End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!
Thank you for Speaking Out! We would love to get your permission to share your testimonial. If you would like to allow your testimonial to be used at a later Speak Out!, please let us know by making a comment or a note in your testimonial.
We are holding our spring Speak Out! on April 16th, 2018 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.
Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.
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