Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2016 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

It happened my first semester freshman year. We were in the same small class, but I was having a hard time finding a study buddy since everyone knew each other already. I feel like this was the reason he chose to talk to me - because I didn't know anyone. It started off as innocuous study sessions. Then he started complimenting me on what I wore. He'd tell me I was beautiful and smart. That I was cute and that he was surprised I'd never had a boyfriend before. I started thinking, "Yeah he's an asshole in class, but he's nice as a person." He proposed the idea of napping together, and I said I was fine with it. I got a text late at night around 3 am from him asking if it was ok to come over. I said no because my roommate hadn't gone home that weekend. He kept asking and wheedling so that I finally caved, thinking we would only be sleeping. The first thing I noticed was that his eyes were bloodshot and he smelled of alcohol. I crawled back in bed and didn't realize that he was taking off his clothes until he was only in his boxers. We were making out, but I kept getting nervous my roommate would wake up so we went to the bathroom and locked it. I remember glancing at myself in the mirror and thinking that I looked confused. Next thing I know, we were on the floor and he kept trying to pry my legs open. I kept saying no, but he wasn't listening to me. I just closed my eyes and hoped he'd get tired or frustrated and just stop what he was doing. He finally did and I opened my eyes to find semen on my stomach. He handed me toilet paper, unlocked the door, got dressed and told me to meet him in the lounge so we could talk. He told me that he had a girlfriend and that they were technically on a break, but that I still shouldn't tell anyone about what had happened. "You were saying yes, right?" I couldn't tell if he was trying to make a joke or if he was serious. I felt like crying, but I nodded. Maybe if I told myself I wanted it, I wouldn't feel like I was a "victim". 

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