Spring 18 2

I was at a party, a year ago. I was enjoying myself, got a little too drunk, and decided I was done being the one left out all the time. Younger than everyone, never kissed a boy, never had any luck with finding boys, I decided enough was enough. When a boy asked me to dance, I said yes. We kissed, and while it wasn't great, I for whatever reason felt empowered and decided I could do anything. I had no need to be the shy, quiet, "prudish" girl. I was feeling myself and when that boy had to leave, I was open to anything. Another one came up not too much later (likely because he saw how easy things were with the other guy) and asked if we could talk outside. I naturally said yes, because with too much to drink and it being hot in the house, who wouldn't say yes? He complimented me, told me how hot I was, and really made me feel special. We started dancing and things got intense, very, very fast. He pushed me up against a way, pinned my hands up with his body so I couldn't move. With his hand he started rubbing up against me, feeling me up. He slid his hands down, farther than just my hips. In this moment I instantly sobered up. I didn't want this. A red alert went off in my head. I wanted it to stop. A friend made eye contact with me and got me out of the situation. The next day when I remembered what happened, I started shaking. Too much, too fast. I stupidly gave him my number before everything started and had to deal with him texting me. I always felt like he could find me. My paranoia grew as I discovered he was in my recitation. Week after week I had to sit with him, knowing he would text me and invite me to parties where I would be handcuffed to him with a bottle of liquor, forced to get drunk with him able to do whatever he wanted to me. I was such an easy target. I was too trusting. I know it's not my fault but I never said no. I regret so much. To this day I'm still scared he'll somehow find me, and continue what he started. Day by day I'm growing stronger. No person should ever have to be scared of being targeted by a predator, forced to see them on campus. Enough is enough.

April 4, 2018 at 2:02 PM

Spring '18 1

There are the monsters, the serial rapists, and those that see us just as walking targets for their sexual domination. Like the 45th president, Donald Trump. Or Harvey Weinstein. Or the relatives who sexually abuse their younger family members.


There are those "one-timers" who somehow think they're less bad.... and sometimes I wonder if they are? These people who just do it once or twice or blame it on blurred lines or alcohol. These people who think pushing just a little harder or trying to convince someone from a no to a yes is okay. Like Aziz Ansari or my high school boyfriend.

And there are people who, maybe they never made someone do anything they didn't want, or maybe they even consider themselves to be against interpersonal violence. But yet they laugh at rape jokes, they support environments where sexual assault is more likely to happen, they don't stop or fight against people they see taking someone way too drunk home or letting their friends think rape culture isn't a problem. Like men in fraternities and the ones who chant "no means yes and yes means anal". And the guys who laugh at those chants. The people who excused the president when he said he grabs women by the pussy and everyone who voted for him. The victim blamers and the people who call women sluts or whores. The people who think a dress or some high heels cause rape. The people who think that alcohol causes rape. People who are not active bystanders and allies to dismantling rape culture and advocating for survivors.

A reminder to those people: complicity is violence.
Rape is violence.
Hostility towards women is violence.
This culture is violence.
 You are part of the violence if you are not doing everything in your power to stop the violence.

End the violence.