A Bag of Ketamine

I lost my virginity to a bag of ketamine
Back in high school, when snorting shit was my scene
I was with a friend 
In a room on a bed
He chopped up a long skinny line and said,
“Babe, you go right ahead”

Five minutes later,
My body fell into the sheets
Like a limp dishrag in a pile of laundry
I never saw it coming 
Until he locked the door that led
To me lying on that bed
Then, I heard him say to me
“Good shit like this isn’t free”

It came on real fast, that long line of K
It melted my legs and weighed me down
It snatched my sight away
I was no longer in that room lying on a bed,
No longer with a friend
But everything he did, 
I could see happening in my head
And I heard every word he said

He put my rag hand on his cock
But my fingers couldn’t grip 
Then he tried to put it in my mouth
And my tongue was numb
And the smell of his dick made me sick
He said he could tell by the way I fucked
That I must be new at this

As soon as he was in me
For just a moment, my eyes cried
“Please don’t…”
Whispered words 
Trapped inside my mind
But the ketamine held my mouth
Those words never made it out
Just the exhale of my breath
When the K floated me to the ceiling 
Up to the very top
I saw me lying on my back
Lifeless on a bed
And his body on me, humping like a dog

When he finished I was alone
A limp dishrag covered in cum
“Put your clothes back on; I’m done,”
Before he left the room, zipping his jeans he said,
“You weren’t such a bad lay;
I hope we can still be friends”
No one noticed when I left the party,
In my sticky cum-covered shirt, 
No one told me that my sweatpants 
Were on backwards and inside out

I don’t remember how I got home 
Oh, I hope I didn’t drive
But I got there and felt a little surprised
That the kitchen looked the same
The dinner dishes still in the sink
Under the soft nightlight, they remained
The papers-clutter-books 
Were still strewn on my bedroom floor
None of it had changed

In the bathroom, I peeled off
The cum-stuck shirt from my chest
And looking in the mirror at myself
I noticed 
My pants were on backwards-inside-out
“You stupid wasted slut—can’t even dress yourself!”

Even after I showered 
Until my skin turned red
My body felt like an old dishrag
The kind that never washes clean,
That outa be thrown out
So I tucked my body into bed
My scrubbed-dirty-dishrag self

I never told him I didn’t want to
I never said no or put up a fight
Or stop! This isn’t right
I said yes to snorting lines that night
With a friend in a room on a bed
Back in high school, when snorting shit was my scene

I guess that means
I agreed 
To give up my virginity
For a bag of ketamine 
Because good shit like that isn’t free

Yeah, good shit like that 
Isn’t free.