Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2016 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

It's sometimes hard for me to recognize my right to say that I've been sexually assaulted. I think that's because the person who did it to me was a woman, because I didn't really fight back, and because my story isn't as violent as the others that I often hear. But through the help of others and of hearing more diverse stories, I've come to accept what I've been through. When I was just getting into my teenage years, my "best friend" found out that I was bi and decided that she wanted to experiment with me. I was okay with it at first, but it kept going on. It became more than just kissing or exploring. I started to feel ashamed and didn't know how to ask for it to stop. Because I was never really educated about same sex relationships, I didn't even really know where the sexual boundaries between two women were. This lasted for years and to this day I don't really know at what age I lost my virginity, I'm just sure that it happened during that time. I had no one to talk to when it was happening. I still believed she was my friend and she manipulated me so I had few others to go to. My parents were already rocked by my sexuality so I didn't want to upset them by telling them about this development. I became withdrawn and anxious. I found out much later that I've always had an anxiety disorder and that those events caused me to have a severe bout of depression. Thankfully I got out of it. With the help of other friends who I still had and being able to gather the courage to reach out to my family I was able to separate myself from her and from what happened. Though it was really only when I came here to UNC that I started to accept that those years and that friendship consisted of sexual assault. Repeated and manipulative sexual assault. I was pleasantly surprised to find new friends and lovers who understood that I had suffered but not to think less of me. It was hard for me not to think less of myself. But somehow, I've been able to separate myself from what happened to me. I realize I just didn't have the skills or the knowledge to really avoid what happened. It was her that had started it all and who had taken it so far. I don't think I hate her, but I'll certainly never trust her again nor even associate with her if I can help it. I still think about it and it does still affect my relationships, but it doesn't control me anymore. I am so grateful to have found strength and support. To any other women out there who have suffered sexual assault at the hands of other women, you're certainly not alone and you have a right to say that it happened to you. All of us survivors, no matter our identities or who hurt us, have the same rights and we all deserve to move on and in time we will. 

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