Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2016 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Forty-six years ago I was 18, a freshman, away from home for the first time at college. I went with a group of girls to our first party given by an upper classman. I was drugged and raped. I tried to push him off and yelled NO, NO, NO... In those days there was a curfew at the dorm and serious repercussions if you were late. I ended up staying up all night in the bushes crying. I could not tell anyone and felt a tremendous amount of shame guilt,and pain all these years. I knew I would be blamed for the rape. I ended up leaving school and getting married the end of the semester only out of fear and shame. I just wanted to be safe. I was terrified that it could happen again. I could never tell anyone all these years. The memory of that night is forever etched in my mind and the incident permanently changed my life. It robbed me of more than just my virginity. 

I grew up in an era where rape victims were always blamed. I knew a coed that was gang raped and the defense attorney said she asked for it since she was wearing black rubber rain boots and a skirt. The boys were found innocent. She ended up in a mental institution. 


Do not let this happen to women ever again. It seems as though nothing has changed. Ignoring this issue continues to sentence innocent victims to a lifetime of pain, shame and humiliation. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This comment really touched me, because I thought that my ordeal over two years ago was something that I'd been holding onto too closely.

Not that you've made any mistakes--I think you're incredibly courageous--but reading your statement is more of a push to change my life, and others, than any amount of therapy money can buy. I want to ensure that in forty years from now, I've been able to cope and help others with similar stories.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Anonymous said...

"When you're holding a glass of water, the weight isn't affected by how many ounces are in the glass, but by how long you hold it.

If you hold the glass for a minute, the absolute weight doesn't matter. If you hold the glass for an hour, your arm starts to ache. If you hold the glass for a day, your arm becomes numb and seemingly paralyzed. The weight of the glass never changes, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes.

The same is said for stress and anxiety. Think about your it for a while and nothing happens. Think about it a bit longer and it begins to hurt. If you think about it all day long, you begin to feel paralyzed-incapable of doing anything.

Remember to put the glass down."