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Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2017 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

It happened to me. I still can't believe it happened to me. I blamed it on myself -- I shouldn't have been drinking -- I shouldn't have been alone with him -- I shouldn't have trusted him.

It wasn't necessarily violent but I was still violated.

If I said NO the first 40 times you tried to make a move... I meant it the 41st too. Because I was near passed out didn't change it into a YES. The 42nd time was silent -- but, an lack of the word NO does not imply the word YES.

But I can't help but think that it's my fault -- I shouldn't have been drinking -- I shouldn't have been high -- I shouldn't have been alone with him.

He lied to me, told us everyone was meeting us there... I was passed out by the time they did.

He had already taken from me what I never gave him. He stole something from me. NO means NO.

When it was happening... my mind was blank... this wasn't happening to me... this couldn't be me. I didn't feel anything... I just watched him climb on top of me and just... go.

I watched him treat me as a toy -- just some thing that he could play with -- I wasn't a person. I didn't feel like a person anymore.

He took my humanity... my self... my me. NO meant NO.

It wasn't my fault. I know that now. He knew I meant NO. He knew.

Nobody has the right to take something like that from you. But I thought it was my fault... and I kept my mouth shut.

Couldn't tell my parents -- would have to tell them that I was intoxicated. My best friend woke up one day with bruises all over her body -- she thought I had to tough it out. "YOU made a MISTAKE," she told me.

She was wrong. I never told him he could come in... I told him NO. As many times as he tried, I wouldn't even kiss him -- when does that translate into "Yes, Rico, I want to have sex with you"?

It doesn't. He knew.

Summer of 2005. Now November 2007. I'm still hurting.

I was RAPED. It wasn't my fault.

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