Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2017 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

March 9th.
That’s when it happened. That’s when I was sexually assaulted. Less than 3 weeks after I was dumped by an insensitive ass of ANOTHER ex-boyfriend.
He knew I was hurting and he knew what it meant to be hurt by keith. He knew.
Why did I keep hanging around him and why did I not run away from him? But I figured it would be okay. So I kept hanging around him and I kept talking to him and I told him that I didn’t want him anymore like that. Just because I dated him once a long time ago, I didn’t want to date him again and I didn’t want sex with him. Someone else had just broken my heart.
But it just happened. He just assumed that’s what I wanted. He assumed that I wanted to be with him and he knew HE knew how to turn me on and I was there and he was drunk so it was okay now.
And I didn’t know what to do and I never know what to do and I second guess myself and then I was just lying there waiting till I knew what to do. And it happened again. And again. And finally I tried to stop it. He kept coming into the room. And I tried to roll over and sleep again but he would come in again and he would scare me and I didn’t know what to do.
And I was already hurting so bad. Why did this have to happen so soon after the other!? Why? I didn’t do anything wrong. I tried to do everything right with keith and that just failed miserably and I was left with a sense of how worthless I was because he didn’t want me. And then shawn wanted me and I felt worthless because it didn’t matter what I wanted. Again. It never matters what I want and I can’t get away from that. Even when I try to be happy and when I think I’ve found happiness it goes away. Why I can’t I be happy and why can’t I do things right and what did I do to deserve this?

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