Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

Thank you for Speaking Out! We would love to get your permission to share your testimonial. If you would like to allow your testimonial to be used at a later Speak Out!, please let us know by making a comment or a note in your testimonial.

We are holding our spring Speak Out! on April 16th, 2018 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I was raped once. It was a cold December evening in 2007. Ironically, I was dressed in a mini-skirt and thigh high boots. It didn't keep me warm, but it kept me feeling good about my insecure self. I think guys can pick up on my insecurity. Whenever I'm at a party, they all hover around me, all lusting after me with their hungry (for sex) eyes. Don't get me wrong, it feels good to be wanted. But tonight, HE showed up.

A strong rugby player type flirted with me for a good 2 hours, just me and him. It felt like there was no one else in the living room. Maybe that's why I didn't say no. I thought no one would hear me. Then, without warning, he asked if I wanted to go back to his room. I had a little buzz and he was pretty cute so of course I said yes. Little did I know what kind of monster he was.

He asked if it was okay if he kissed me and I thought "one make out session couldn't hurt." But it did. After about 45 minutes of gently escalating fooling around, he slowly removed my mini-skirt and panties. I wanted to say no, but my body wouldn't let me. I looked at him, hoping he could tell by the fear in my eyes that I didn't want to do this. He looked right back and smiled. He knew. He knew I didn't want to have sex. But he wanted to, and that's all that mattered. I can only talk about this so openly because it happened so long ago, but I still have nightmares about this horrific night every once in a while. My friends have been an unbelievable help. I'll love them more than I'll probably love any man, at least for the next 5 years.

No comments: