Welcome to the SpeakOut! Blog

Break the silence that surrounds sexual assault, sexual harassment, interpersonal violence, relationship abuse, stalking, hate crimes, and identity-based violence. Share your story here on our anonymous blog.

To speak about an experience with any form of interpersonal violence is difficult, but it is also empowering. Breaking the silence reduces shame and helps others to speak out about their own experiences.

End the shame. Be empowered. Speak Out!

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We are holding our first fall Speak Out! in October 26th, 2017 from 7-9 pm in The Pit. For more information, check our Facebook page.

Because this blog features stories of interpersonal and sexual violence, we offer this *content warning* as a way of caution. We also ask that you do not reproduce any of the content below, as the authors of these personal stories are anonymous, and cannot give consent for their stories to appear anywhere other than this blog or at a Project Dinah-led SpeakOut event.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

it took me a really long time to realize and affirm that i had, in fact, been sexually assaulted. i was sitting in a room with around 100 people, and someone was speaking about their sexual assault. slowly, people stood up to support him, each one saying, "i was molested by my brother," or "i was molested by my step-dad" or "i was molested by my aunt", and without even realizing what i was doing, i stood up and said, actually said the words out loud, "i was molested by my doctor."

when i was 15 i was at the doctor, a physical for school, and the doctor that i usually had was out for the day for some reason, so i had a different doctor, a man i had never met. he performed a regular physical on me and then he gave me a breast exam and what seemed to be a pelvic exam, even though he was a pediatrician and that had never been done in the office before.

i felt so awful, my body felt disgusting and i went home and took the hottest shower i could take, i cried and i scrubbed my skin.

i told my mother about it. she confirmed that it didn't seem right. later, we talked to my regular doctor about it, and she said that she agreed that it shouldn't have happened, that thas wasn't standard procedure. and then, of course, there was my body telling me that it wasn't right, in any way. and in spite of all of the things telling me that this was an experience that was not right, i still told myself, "he was a doctor, i'm just overreacting."

this is the lie we tell ourselves. that we are overreacting, that we're hysterical, that of course it must have been ok, or our fault, or just a misunderstanding.

and i am beginning to think that it seems impossible to put a stop to sexual violence--how awful!--and that we have to focus on just healing ourselves. because whenever you look around, you are guaranteed to see someone who has experienced sexual assault.

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